Good on Paper, But Not a Pick: What Shedeur Sanders’ Draft Day Slide Teaches Us About Dating
From college football glory to a humbling NFL draft, Shedeur Sanders' story is a modern parable for Desi singles navigating dating beyond their highlight reel.
Todd Rosenberg || Getty Images
You could be a top performer in college, a household name in your community, or even the child of a legend. But when it's time to be picked—not just noticed—how you show up matters more than your pedigree.
This past NFL draft, Shedeur Sanders—son of football icon Deion Sanders—was expected to go early, perhaps even in the first round. His talent was undeniable, and his collegiate stats backed up the hype. But as each round passed, and his name was still not called, the reality set in: teams weren’t buying what he was selling.
Why?
Despite his dazzling college career, Shedeur chose not to participate in key combine events, reportedly due to confidence that his game tape and family name spoke for themselves. But scouts and coaches interpreted his absence differently: as a sign of being uncoachable, entitled, and more invested in being a solo star than a team player. He finally went to the Cleveland Browns—in the fifth round.
In dating, especially within our South Asian diaspora, this story plays out more often than we admit.
We see singles—especially those who’ve always been told they’re “a catch”—confused about why things aren’t working out. They’re well-educated, attractive, maybe even from a “good family.” They’re used to being the ones who get approached, who have options. But when it comes to being chosen for real, to be part of a relationship that’s serious, intimate, and marriage-bound? Many find themselves unexpectedly passed over.
Why?
Because being good-looking or successful isn’t enough. Just like in football, relationships require character, humility, coachability, and the ability to be a team player. It doesn’t matter how many likes your selfies get or how many dates you lined up in your twenties. If you bring a cocky, “I’m too good for this” energy to the table, you’ll find that fewer and fewer people want to sit with you.
We see this especially in South Asian communities, where the resume often reads like a trophy wall: top schools, six-figure jobs, model-level photos. But being eligible on paper doesn’t mean you're emotionally available, self-aware, or kind. Too many singles rely on their social proof and expect to be pursued and praised, without putting in the effort to grow as a person who’s ready to build a life with someone.
Now layer in the world of online dating—where these highlight reels are on full display.
Apps have made dating feel like a marketplace. And while there are real success stories (including many we’ve seen through Single to Shaadi), they’ve also conditioned us to make quick judgments. Swipe culture amplifies our belief that if someone looks good on paper—great job, sharp style, witty profile—we should match. But the truth? Many of those “top picks” turn out to be all style, no substance.
Online dating can feel especially brutal for South Asians who straddle both modern platforms and traditional expectations. It can be tempting to rely on filters, algorithms, and clever prompts to do the heavy lifting. But no matter how curated your profile is, nothing replaces showing up with emotional depth, integrity, and relational maturity.
Here’s the trap: We often confuse visibility with value. Just because someone gets a lot of matches doesn’t mean they’re showing up with the energy it takes to sustain something meaningful. Many swipe, match, and ghost—treating the process like an ego boost rather than a sincere search.
We’ve also noticed that daters who consider themselves “in demand” may carry an unspoken expectation that others must impress them, while they put in minimal effort. This mindset sabotages connection. The truth is, every interaction is an opportunity to show your emotional intelligence—not just your list of accomplishments.
There’s a difference between confidence and cockiness.
And when you tip into the latter, people pick up on it—even if they don’t say so outright. Just like NFL coaches saw something “off” in Shedeur’s draft behavior, daters sense when someone is overly self-focused or lacks the maturity to invest in us, not just me.
Ask yourself: When was the last time you received feedback about how you show up emotionally, not just physically or professionally? When did you last reflect on your relational readiness—not just your accomplishments? Do you truly understand what it means to be someone’s partner, beyond being someone’s prize?
Being coachable in dating doesn’t mean losing yourself. It means being open to growth, compromise, and the vulnerability that intimacy requires. It’s being curious about another person’s world, not just convincing them to enter yours. It’s realizing that a relationship isn’t about you winning, it’s about both of you building.
So here’s the truth:
You might have had your pick of the litter in college. You might have always been told you're a 10. But none of that guarantees a good marriage, or even a good relationship. In fact, it can be a liability if it keeps you from learning, adapting, and staying humble.
As Desis, we often straddle two worlds—traditional expectations and modern realities. We want someone who’s attractive and successful, but we also want loyalty, patience, shared values, and groundedness. That requires us to be more than just impressive—it requires us to be intentional.
Don’t let your highlight reel blind you to your blind spots. Like Sanders, you may have all the makings of a first-round pick—but if you act like the world owes you love, you might not get chosen until round five. Or not at all.
Instead, aim to become someone who understands partnership as a sacred bond, not a status symbol. Ask better questions. Listen more than you talk. Be willing to admit when you’re wrong. These may seem like small things, but in the long run, they are what make you marriage material—not your job title, not your Instagram following, not your curated photos.
And if you feel like you've been overlooked despite your best efforts? That’s not the time to retreat into bitterness. It’s the time to reassess—not just your dating strategy, but your posture. Are you showing up with curiosity? With grace? With a willingness to meet someone halfway?
Your dating app photos might bring someone to your profile. Your education might get you a conversation. But it’s how you show up on that first call, on that second date, and during a disagreement—that determines whether you’re seen as a teammate or a solo act.
In the end, someone’s going to choose you—not because you dazzled them on paper, but because you showed them that you’re the real deal in person. Not the filtered version. Not the flexed version. But the genuine, grounded, and growth-oriented version of yourself.
Key Takeaways for South Asian Singles:
Being desirable isn’t the same as being dateable.
If you think you're above the process, you’ll alienate the very people you're trying to attract.
Confidence is attractive—but humility keeps you in the game.
Your dating success isn't about how many people want you; it's about how many people want to grow with you.
Online dating is a tool—not a shortcut. What you bring offline is what truly counts.
Don’t confuse matches with momentum. What you do after the match is what matters most.
At the end of the day, the best relationships are not built on potential—they’re built on partnership.
If you want to be someone’s first-round pick, start acting like someone who wants to play on a team.
