What the Viral Empire State Building Proposal Gets Right (and Wrong) About Finding Your Person

The viral Empire State Building proposal sparked admiration, debate...and one of the biggest brand meme trends of the summer. Instagram/@angela_nikolau

Unless you've been avoiding social media for the past two weeks, you've probably seen the couple who illegally climbed the Empire State Building, got engaged hundreds of feet above New York City, and then got arrested on the way down.

Within about 24 hours, the internet did what the internet always does. Brands hijacked the moment. Sports teams, airlines, software companies, restaurants—even tea brands—rushed to recreate the now-famous black banner, proving that no viral moment is safe from a marketing department.

The iconic black banner they unfurled—originally carrying a message about love and peace—became the newest meme template. Suddenly every brand had something "important" to announce.

Meanwhile, the original story almost got lost.

Two professional "rooftoppers," Angela Nikolau and Ivan Beerkus, climbed 1,454 feet without safety equipment, unfurled a banner reading "When the power of love beats the love of power, the world knows peace," got engaged...and were promptly arrested on felony charges.

Now before anyone gets any ideas...

No, I am absolutely not recommending you commit a felony to impress someone.

But I do think there's a fascinating relationship lesson hiding underneath all the headlines.

They Didn't Just Find Love—They Found Someone Who Shared Their Obsession

Here's the part most people miss. This wasn't a random guy deciding to climb a skyscraper because he wanted an unforgettable proposal. This couple has spent years climbing some of the tallest buildings in the world. Netflix literally made a documentary about them called Skywalkers: A Love Story.

This proposal wasn't outside their comfort zone. It was their comfort zone. That's a huge distinction.

Ivan Beerkus and Angela Nikolau in December 2023 posted videos of themselves on the spire of the 678.9m-high Merdeka 118 in Malaysia BEERKUS/INSTAGRAM, ANGELA_NIKOLAU/INSTAGRAM

Too many singles think compatibility is:

• same religion

• same income

• same education

• same city

Those things matter. But long-term compatibility is often about something much deeper.

Do you get excited about the same things?

For this couple... it's rooftopping. For someone else... it's traveling. Or entrepreneurship. Or volunteering. Or building a family. Or hosting dinner parties every weekend.

The activity doesn't matter. The shared enthusiasm does.

The Best Relationships Usually Have a Shared Mission

One thing I see constantly in matchmaking is people searching for someone who checks every box... without asking: "What kind of life are we actually building together?"

Think about the couples you admire. Usually they aren't just in love. They're building something together.

Maybe it's...

• raising children

• growing a business

• restoring old homes

• running marathons

• traveling the world

• serving their community

Shared purpose creates momentum. Momentum creates partnership. And partnership creates intimacy.

Love Isn't Just Chemistry. It's Teamwork.

Image: Netflix

Watching the videos, one thing stood out. They trusted each other completely. You don't climb skyscrapers with someone unless you believe they'll make good decisions.

Every movement required communication. Planning. Trust. Shared preparation.

Again... I'm not saying your relationship should involve ladders 1,400 feet in the air. I'm saying every healthy marriage eventually asks the same question: Can we solve difficult problems together?

Buying a house. Parenting. Moving. Career changes. Taking care of aging parents. Those are your skyscrapers.

But Let's Not Romanticize Recklessness

Here's where I think social media gets it wrong. People love grand gestures. But grand gestures don't create great marriages. Consistency does.

This proposal was exciting. It was cinematic. It was unforgettable. It was also illegal.

The proposal didn't make them compatible. It simply reflected the life they had already built together. That's an important difference.

If your relationship needs increasingly dramatic gestures to feel meaningful... you're probably chasing excitement instead of connection.

The Lesson for South Asian Singles

This is where I'd make it personal. Many South Asian singles spend years describing the person they're looking for.

"I want someone ambitious."

"I want someone family-oriented."

"I want someone funny."

"I want someone who likes to travel."

All good answers. But here's the better question: What kind of story do you want to build with someone?

Because your future spouse isn't just someone you'll love. They're someone you'll experience life with. You'll solve problems together. Celebrate wins together. Face losses together. Build traditions together.

The proposal lasts five minutes. The partnership lasts decades.

Conclusion

The Empire State Building engagement went viral because it was dramatic. But I don't think that's why people couldn't stop watching.

Deep down... I think people were drawn to two people who looked completely aligned. Same passion. Same mission. Same appetite for adventure. Same willingness to bet on each other.

No, you don't need to climb a skyscraper to prove you've found your soulmate. But you do need to find someone who wants to climb the same metaphorical mountain as you.

Because marriage isn't about standing on top of the Empire State Building. It's about choosing to keep climbing—together.