The Pitfalls of Dating Apps
Myths, hype, or reality? Trust the 5-star, 4-star, or 3-star reviews? Maybe, maybe not! As a late-night comedian so aptly states, perhaps “It’s time for a closer look.”
NOTE: The research and data herein apply equally to men and women. That is, a sample population of dating app members consisted of a near equal number of each gender. This missive focuses on dating apps that claim their goal is for their members to ultimately meet in person. Following are points to ponder.
Photos: Any seasoned dating app member has seen absurdly and unrealistically filtered photos or has experienced photos so ancient that the person was unrecognizable upon meeting. As a female comedian explained, “I quickly had to decide if it was time for coffee, tea, or for me to flee.”
Another member reported that she agreed to meet a man who purported to spend lots of time out in nature. His profile stated that he ran several miles every day. For their first meeting they mutually decided to meet and walk together in a public park.
The park had a couple of small hills and a few minor inclines. Soon, however, the man was huffing and puffing so hard that the woman worried he might suffer a heart attack. She doubted he was in condition to actually run any distance whatsoever!
Body Type: Most of the apps require the member to select their body type or size, from slender to heavyset. Not uncommonly, members understate their body size. In actuality, members are often larger or heavier than stated in their profile.
A female member’s profile stated that she was not interested in meeting a man with a BOB. When asked to explain, she somewhat quizzically stated, “Belly over Belt.”
Verification: Many of the apps claim that a member has been vetted or verified and display a verification icon. However, they typically do not indicate how the user was verified or what data was verified. Thus, the entire verification process is improbable, if not meaningless.
Fake Profiles: It’s been credibly reported that a number of fake profiles—even completely AI-generated profiles—are displayed on some apps.
Nefarious Profiles: The apps contain no shortage of outright spammers and scammers of innumerable varieties and locations. Many originate from outside the United States. Some employ clever, sophisticated techniques to steal your data and dollars.
Disingenuous Profiles: The apps are inundated with embellished, fallacious profiles containing outright false data.
Entertainment Profiles: Some people never intend or want to actually meet another member. These are real people whose profiles may contain accurate data, yet they are deceptive and illegitimate. They joined solely for their own entertainment at the expense of others. Typically, they will engage with another member strictly for their amusement as long as possible. They may eventually agree to meet but will never show up.
Algorithms: Many of the apps employ disingenuous and manipulative algorithms. These are primarily designed to keep the member searching rather than discovering a truly viable mutual match.
Inactive Profiles: Many of the apps display profiles that have long expired and have been completely inactive for years. Often, it is not possible to determine a member’s status, active or inactive.
Free Memberships: These typically provide narrow, restricted member access. Often people with free memberships are unable to reply to another member who has messaged them. Typically, it is impossible to determine whether or not a member is in this category.
Auto Renewals: Most paid memberships operate on a thinly disclosed, automatic renewal process. Unless you read all the fine print upon joining as a paid member and opt out, your membership will automatically be renewed at the expiration of the current term.
Reviews: There are numerous reports that a significant number of these apps’ reviews are dubious, at best. It is difficult, if not impossible, to determine which, if any, are trustworthy. Thus, the age-old adage, “Buyer Beware.”
Date: Do you consider the first in-person meeting a date, per se, or simply a brief “meet and greet”? If you meet just for coffee and you remarkably discover a potential mutual match, lucky you. That presents the opportunity to plan a more formal date.
Ghosting: Ghosting, or vanishing like a ghost is alarmingly on the rise. It is most distasteful and unconscionable. It is especially egregious when an individual you’ve seemingly been having positive communications with, suddenly and permanently disappears without a reason or explanation.
Your personal comfort level is certainly an important consideration. If the first meeting involves a meal, consider the possibility that within the first five minutes, you may be so disillusioned that you’ll search for the nearest escape exit!
That is a brief summary of the current reality of dating apps. Yet take courage, dating app members: With enough prudent preparation, persistent attention, and circumspect caution, occasionally, they may produce a positive result!
© Arthur MacArthur
