What “Boyfriend Material” Really Means: Lessons from Jacob Elordi’s Valentine’s Day Gesture

As we approach Valentine’s Day, the energy shifts in subtle but unmistakable ways. Restaurants begin promoting curated tasting menus. Jewelers roll out their annual campaigns. Flower shops prepare for their busiest week of the year. Social media fills with conversations about romantic surprises and thoughtfully planned evenings. Even those who claim they are indifferent to the holiday feel its presence. Valentine’s Day has become more than a date on the calendar — it is a cultural reminder that romance still holds meaning.

This year, that feeling is amplified by the buzz surrounding the upcoming adaptation of Wuthering Heights, starring Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi. The novel itself is synonymous with sweeping, emotionally intense love. It explores passion, longing, and devotion in a way that has captivated audiences for generations. I am genuinely excited to see this film. There is something deeply nostalgic about revisiting stories that treat love as something profound rather than casual.

Yet what truly caught my attention was not just the film’s romance — but a real-life moment that occurred while they were filming on Valentine’s Day 2025.

The Valentine’s Day 2025 Gesture

While filming Wuthering Heights on Valentine’s Day 2025, Jacob Elordi decided to mark the occasion with a grand gesture. He filled Margot Robbie’s room with roses and left a thoughtful note inspired by their characters. They were not dating. There was no off-screen romance. They were simply colleagues immersed in a love story.

Robbie later described the gesture as “epic,” praising its thoughtfulness and creativity. She shared that she loved the “crafty” aspect of what he did — that it felt meaningful and dramatic. Most tellingly, she said she remembered thinking, “Oh, he’s probably a very good boyfriend, because there’s a lot of thoughtfulness in this.”

That statement is revealing.

Not that it was flashy.
Not that it was expensive.
But that it reflected character.

Interestingly, Robbie admitted she didn’t do anything special for Elordi in return. And yet, his feelings were not hurt. In fact, he joked that he felt like he “beat” her — clearly proud of his effort. There was no scorekeeping. No resentment. No expectation of reciprocity.

As a man, he wanted to do something thoughtful. He derived satisfaction from giving.

That detail matters immensely.

When Giving Is Not a Transaction

In today’s dating culture, many people unconsciously treat romantic gestures like exchanges. If I plan something, you should match it. If I give, you owe. If I impress, you respond in kind.

But true partner material does not operate from a place of transaction.

When Elordi expressed pride in his effort — even though Robbie did nothing in return — it demonstrated emotional security. He was not seeking validation. He was not measuring fairness. He was simply expressing generosity because he wanted to.

Within South Asian dating culture, this is a powerful lesson. Many singles are navigating expectations — from family, from society, from potential partners. There can be subtle pressure to keep things balanced, equal, even competitive. But healthy romance is not competitive.

Romance should feel like offering, not negotiating.

What Makes a Gesture Signal Partner Material?

In the world of dating — especially in today’s fast-paced, app-driven culture — grand gestures can sometimes feel performative. We have grown accustomed to highlight reels: extravagant dates, elaborate surprises, viral proposal videos. But not every sweeping act of romance indicates long-term potential.

The reason this particular gesture resonated is that it was thoughtful. It acknowledged the day. It respected the context. It reflected awareness of the creative space they were sharing. It was romantic without being overwhelming. It was expressive without being inappropriate.

In my professional experience working with South Asian singles, this distinction matters tremendously. Effort is attractive. But thoughtful effort is unforgettable. Anyone can purchase roses. Anyone can plan a dinner reservation. Not everyone demonstrates an ability to read a moment and respond in a way that feels natural and aligned.

Within many South Asian households, romance has historically been expressed in quieter ways. Love has often shown itself through responsibility, consistency, financial stability, and long-term commitment. Acts of service and family integration have been stronger indicators of devotion than overt displays of affection. However, modern South Asian singles — particularly those navigating life in the diaspora — desire a balance. They want cultural rootedness and emotional expression. They want someone who honors tradition yet still understands how to celebrate romance in meaningful ways.

A gesture becomes “boyfriend material” not because it is grand, but because it reflects attentiveness and emotional intelligence.

Thoughtfulness Versus Love Bombing

At this point, it is essential to draw a boundary. Not all grand gestures are healthy. Not all dramatic expressions of affection are rooted in sincerity.

There is a clear difference between thoughtful romance and love bombing.

Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie in Wuthering Heights. Courtesy Warner Bros. Pictures

Thoughtful romance is proportional. It fits the stage of the relationship. It enhances connection without overwhelming it. It communicates care without creating pressure for immediate emotional reciprocity.

Love bombing, on the other hand, often feels intense and premature. It can involve excessive praise, dramatic declarations, or overwhelming gestures that attempt to accelerate attachment before trust and compatibility have been established.

What made the Valentine’s Day 2025 gesture compelling was its appropriateness. It did not appear manipulative. It did not demand emotional escalation. It simply acknowledged the day in a creative, symbolic way. It demonstrated awareness, not urgency.

For South Asian singles, this distinction is especially important. In communities where families may quickly begin discussing long-term potential, engagements, and marriage timelines, it can be easy to mistake intensity for readiness. But emotional maturity reveals itself not through speed, but through steadiness.

Romance Should Feel Personal, Not Performative

In today’s dating landscape, many individuals feel pressure to curate romance for external validation. Social media amplifies this phenomenon. Bigger bouquets, more elaborate dates, more public displays. It becomes easy to confuse spectacle with sincerity.

However, partner material is rarely defined by spectacle. It is defined by attunement.

Does this person notice what matters to you?
Do they act with intention rather than impulse?
Do their gestures reflect understanding rather than ego?

When working with marriage-minded professionals, I consistently observe that compatibility is built on subtle, consistent actions. Passion may draw two people together. But consistency sustains them.

For South Asian singles navigating dual expectations — honoring cultural values while embracing modern dating norms — this balance is crucial. Chemistry is important. Attraction is important. But without alignment, intention, and shared values, passion alone cannot sustain a lifelong partnership.

What Partner Material Truly Looks Like

In my professional opinion, boyfriend or partner material encompasses several core traits. It is someone who thinks ahead. Someone who plans without being prompted. Someone who understands timing. Someone who expresses affection in a way that respects both individuality and cultural context.

It is someone whose romantic gestures align with their broader character. They are not generous only on holidays. They are not expressive only when convenient. Their thoughtfulness is consistent.

They can plan the roses — and they can plan the future.

They understand that romance is not measured by price, but by meaning. They respect family dynamics. They communicate clearly. They are emotionally regulated. They demonstrate stability without sacrificing warmth.

A room filled with roses may capture attention. But reliability, respect, and intentionality are what build trust.

Your Forever Valentine Requires Intention

Jacob Elordi shielding Margot Robbie’s hair from the rain at the London premiere of “Wuthering Heights”. Credit: Karwai Tang/WireImage

As Valentine’s Day approaches once again, it is worth reflecting on your own journey. Will next year look the same? Will you still be hoping for someone who understands you? Or will you be celebrating alongside a partner who has already demonstrated thoughtfulness and alignment?

Hollywood offers beautiful narratives. Stories like Wuthering Heights remind us of love’s intensity and drama. They stir emotion and nostalgia. But real-life partnership requires deliberate action.

If you are serious about finding your forever Valentine — someone who honors both your heart and your heritage — then it may be time to stop leaving love entirely to chance.

At Single to Shaadi, we work with marriage-minded South Asian professionals who are ready for intentional partnership. Not confusion. Not endless swiping. Not performative dating. But grounded, culturally aware, emotionally intelligent love.

Imagine next Valentine’s Day being surprised not because someone felt obligated, but because they truly know what makes you feel cherished. Imagine experiencing romance that reflects compatibility, stability, and shared vision.

That kind of partnership does not materialize accidentally.

It is cultivated. It is positioned. It is intentional.

If you are ready for thoughtful, lasting love — the kind that feels both romantic and rooted — I invite you to join our matchmaking database at Single to Shaadi.

Let’s ensure that next Valentine’s Day, you are not simply consuming stories about love.

You are living your own. 💫