Lilly Singh’s “Doin’ It”: Breaking South Asian Taboos About Sex, Love & Intimacy
When Lilly Singh announced that she made a movie about sex—yes, you read that right—my first reaction was, Finally, someone said it out loud. Her new comedy Doin’ It follows a 30-year-old Indian woman who has never had sex, suddenly tasked with teaching a sex-ed class. Cue the chaos, awkward moments, and classic Lilly humor. But beneath the laughs lies a deeper message: South Asians have a complicated relationship with sex. We come from a culture that gave the world the Kama Sutra and still managed to make generations of us feel like even saying the word "sex" is a sin.
Here’s the paradox: India has the highest population on earth, but many of us grew up in households where sex was never talked about. Instead, it was whispered about, shamed, or portrayed unrealistically in Bollywood—cue the rain-drenched sari song sequences. This silence has consequences. Many singles, men and women alike, enter adulthood with anxiety, confusion, or even guilt around intimacy. And when something is taboo, it often swings to extremes: from fetishization to disrespect, or from total repression to unhealthy obsession.
What Lilly does so brilliantly in Doin’ It is flip this silence on its head. By using comedy, she gives voice to what so many South Asians experience privately—the uncertainty of intimacy, the embarrassment of inexperience, and the awkward but liberating journey of self-discovery. She doesn’t just talk about sex; she laughs about it, experiments with it, and in doing so, normalizes it. And that’s something our community desperately needs.
Why This Matters for South Asian Singles
As a matchmaker, I’ve seen firsthand how discomfort with talking about sex shows up in dating and relationships:
Lilly Singh in 'Doin' It' Aura Entertainment
Stigma Keeps Us Silent – Many singles still worry that bringing up sex means they’ll be judged as “fast” or “not serious.” But if you can’t talk openly about intimacy, it’s nearly impossible to build a healthy relationship.
Sex Isn’t Dirty—It’s Human – When sex is framed as something bad or shameful, people either avoid it completely or rush into it without understanding. Both extremes hurt relationships. The truth? Sex is not a bad thing. It’s part of connection, intimacy, and love.
Men Feel It Too – While Doin’ It centers on a woman’s journey, men in our community face similar struggles. Pressure to “know it all,” fear of being inexperienced, or worse, learning everything from porn instead of real conversations. The silence hurts everyone.
The Next Generation Is Changing the Script – Younger South Asians are far more open to talking about sex, intimacy, and boundaries. And guess what? That openness is going to lead to healthier relationships, marriages, and families. If we don’t cling to taboo, we allow love to flourish.
What We Can Learn
Courtesy of SXSW
Start the Conversation – Whether you’re dating casually or seeking marriage, learn how to talk about intimacy with honesty and respect. If Lilly Singh can make a whole movie about it, you can bring it up on a second or third date.
Ditch the Shame – Shame has no place in love. You don’t need to feel guilty for your desires, your choices, or your journey. Being open about intimacy is a strength, not a weakness.
Support Brown Arts – Representation matters. The more we see South Asians talking about real issues like sex, the easier it becomes for us to do it too—in life, not just on screen.
Lilly Singh’s Doin’ It may be a comedy, but it’s also a cultural breakthrough. It invites us to laugh at our awkwardness while challenging us to get more comfortable with what has always been treated as forbidden. I haven’t seen it yet, but you can bet I’ll be in theaters this weekend. And I encourage you to go too. Support Brown arts, laugh a little (or a lot), and maybe even walk out with a new perspective on love and intimacy.
Because here’s the truth: until we stop treating sex as a taboo, our community will keep stumbling in the dark. And isn’t it much better to laugh, learn, and love out in the open?
Question for You: How did you first learn about sex growing up—and how do you think that shaped your dating life today? Drop your thoughts in the comments below!
